Thanks DS. I don’t know if I’m busting my divorce or just learning how to deal with it. Just trying to be the best person I can and letting the chips fall where they may.
Changeover was quick and easy. Barely any interaction beyond hello and goodbye. One awkward moment - S1 (who is nearly 2) has lately been very interested in the topic of ‘home’. Where is Mama’s house, S1’s house, dad’s house, grandparents’ house etc. As I was collecting S1 from H at the front door, he piped up “no more dada’s house”! I played along and said “no, just mama and S1’s house”. H didn’t say a word and scampered into his car to drive away. Pretty funny.
Had dinner with my family tonight. Stepdad mentioned that H deleted him off Facebook. I think he was quite hurt about it - they were closer than H was to his own father. He tried to counsel H in the weeks following BD and really encouraged him to think about what he was doing. Of course H, being in MLC, didn’t take it seriously and used it as an opportunity to talk about how awesome it was being free and single, and how much his life was improving. Stepdad said at the time that it was bizarre and quite tone-deaf.
It was thanks to this conversation, about six weeks after BD, that I found out H had decided to end the trial separation and proceed with divorce. Yes, I found out my marriage was ending from my stepdad. H told stepdad to tell me in order to soften the blow (more accurately, to avoid a difficult emotional conversation). He knew that I knew for the next three days and did nothing. On the third day of silence, hurting beyond measure, I broke down and asked him to talk to me in person about it. He took a day to reply and said he would be free at the end of the week. It was shockingly casual and completely heartless.
Anyway. That is the memory I am thinking of tonight. It’s nice to be removed from the emotion behind it, or to have processed the emotion so it doesn’t hurt any more. I can muse about it without pain.
