You're not rocking the boat - H is. The thing is, H is just rocking YOUR boat. He's in his boat, chugging along, splashing you with his wake, grabbing your bow and rocking it. I'm worried that this type of thing is making you shake. That's a horrible, horrible feeling. Do you do breathing exercises to bring that down? Make sure you have a go to girlfriend that you can vent with and talk about your feelings - nothing replaces a firend you can call 24/7/365 when the proverbial hits the fan with emotions.
Thanks for putting it this way, DS, it really helps. I called my mum on the way to work and my stepdad jumped on the phone to reassure me that I did nothing wrong. In this way, I was able to talk it through and calm down. I'm nervous about changeover this afternoon, so I will need to practice some breathing exercises in advance of that.
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How about typing up an email with your boundary for changeover? When I did my boundary email after the arm grab incident, I was worried about it. Never in my wildest dreams did I EVER, EVER think the person I married would put me through having to do an email like that. But, I took the step. I just had to. Here's what made it extra sh#$tty and a real slap for me - when my step kids were young, and she was battling her XH, it was me that stepped in and helped her with emails, communications etc with her XH, becuase she couldn't handle it. You can do this Scout. I've seen and known men like what you describe your H to be, and I have no kind words to say about this type of man, so wont say anything. Other vets have given their assessment too on your thread.
I think I will do the email. I read about the arm grab incident and think you handled it very well in the aftermath, and your XW responded nicely. I have no illusions about what H's response would be, if he deigned to give me one.
I'm still interested in what you might think about H - seeing it in black and white helps with my detachment.
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I think you need to have a discussion with your L too about parental responsibility, as your parenting Consent orders will have some clauses in there about its allocation. Or am I misunderstood and you just have property orders
I have a parenting plan which I understand is different to parenting orders. My solicitor suggested a non-binding plan due to S1's age and need for flexibility until he reaches school age. I hope this is the right choice.
Thank you so much for your continued advice, it helps so much.
