Be gentle on yourself. You did fine with the boundary and your conversation with H.
Ensure the boundary is established and keep it. If you are not here by xx:xx then I’m taking son to daycare.
You don’t need to explain it. You don’t need to defend it. Actions speak louder than words.
It’s ok that you got angry. H was late and you had to get to the train. Not much time for his tardiness.
To help in not getting angry, schedule the exchange time maybe a few minutes earlier. If he is late, you’ve got time to go to daycare. However, I think what really bugged you was his lack of communication or caring about other’s schedules.
Expectations dear girl. Expectations.
In this situation, of course expectations are reasonable - but H is not reasonable. Keep expectations low and have a backup plan when dealing with him. For everything. MLCer’s minds are like Swiss cheese, they run late, can’t remember what you tell them, and the concept of a schedule is like a forgiven language suddenly - especially with their secretive and private lives.
Please let go of your feelings of guilt. DB principles are very good and not needed to be absolute. Besides it is possible that H was purposefully being late to get a rise out of you. Hmmmmm. And they do know what buttons to push. I suspect that when looking at this in that possible light you may not feel quite so guilty. Rationalizing helps detach your emotional responses from H’s actions and behaviours.
Learn from this and keep moving forward. You’re doing fine.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
