None of them will tell you where they live. Mine has moved three times. Each time I found out from some external source. It's the secrecy and keeping their lives "private." I told mine that he couldn't see my son while my number was blocked in case I needed to reach him. He unblocked me. Maintain your boundaries. Even in divorce he would be required to give you that address, so there is no reason for him not to give it now. Because your son is so young, make him do the visitation at your house if he won't give it. Say that in a writing and keep the writing as KML suggests. Then if he challenges you later, you can show the writing and say you were not comfortable with such a young child being taken to an unknown location.
The sooner you can detach from caring about what he and the OW are doing, the better for you, and the better DBer you will be. I'm a total hypocrite on that. Every newbie does the same thing. But the reality is you can't effect any change and all it will do is hurt you to keep tabs. A wonderful poster here used to quote "constant wondering is constant suffering." Choose not to wonder so that you don't have to suffer.
