The daily test of emotional fortitude

[rooskers]

I don't need the quantity of friends she has, but I also can't just sit back and wait for these connections to fall into my lap. I need to work at it. It's not natural for me.

I completely understand this. My family was my life and now that it has completely gone and a new one is being built starting with my daughter and myself. What are you doing to work at it?

Why do I keep giving her updates about the kids? Why do I feel like I need to notify her that one of my family members is visiting?

I believe you want to still be attached with her in any small way. I was wanting to do the same thing at the beginning but realized it was just causing more problems. My feeling is you need to detach on this and start living your life without including your W. That means when you are having visitors or spending time with the children not only do you not need to give her updates but it shouldn't even cross your mind. Just enjoy the time with the people you love and leave it at that. If she reaches out and asks then you can make the decision whether you want to give her the update.