... I struggle with nagging, internal questions. Could she fall back in love with me if I remain a safe, stable place with no judgements? Would she choose to end her affair relationship if she has enjoyable experiences with me? Would she choose to end it if she feels attraction to me? Would going NC solidify her affair relationship and form it into a committed relationship? Would pulling away more give her more freedom to cement her affair relationship? Could I even get past all of this betrayal? We don't have kids, why am I still sticking around? ...
I have the same awful thoughts that my WW and OM could solidify their relationship, and somehow my WW becomes the perfect spouse to someone else. I attribute it to FOMO (fear of missing out)... honestly, how likely is that without doing real personal growth on themselves that two cheaters become good partners.
I know that pursuing did not work, and I lost my self-respect and self-confidence.
I do not know that not pursuing (NC, GAL) will work for sure, but I am gaining back my self-respect and self-confidence.
There's such a thing as forbidden fruit theory with affairs. Once they are addicted, the more you try to stop them, the more they want it. At this point, aside from them being happily ever after, what else worse can happen?
