Moving On Over to Surviving the Big D

[HaWho]

Calgon take me away! The few interactions I have with my ex are (still) quite something. Ownit - I have my own jack-in-the box!

Pax if you are reading, my ex opens his door just like yours does. I call him the Once-ler from the Lorax, ever lurking.

So, a few days ago I get a text from ex saying our dog has a gum issue, he sends a pic to his brother’s wife who is a vet and he tells me the dog needs a cleaning. He offers to pay for it so long as I take him. I am suspicious. But then I feel guilty for being suspicious of his kindness. So I say thanks and agree. And I think: eureka he is growing up and we will be civil!

But I get home and something in me thinks: why would he offer to pay? So I look at the gum and it turns out the canine is cracked! I text a picture to the same vet (Ex sis-in-Law) and ask if she saw the whole picture of that area. And sure enough, he only showed the gum. Now; why would he do that you ask?

Well, get ready. He taught the dog to fetch rocks! Yup. And I told him this was awful and the dog needed a ball. Nope. He thought it was clever as he then taught the dog to play soccer with rocks using his nose and paws. Long sigh.

Ok, so I explain this to vet/ex sis in law and she says the rock cracked the tooth, it is infected, causing gum swelling. And I have noticed bad breath, loss of appetite and more sleeping. So I text ex and tell him sis-in-law saw full pic and this is not a mere cleaning and explain he is sleeping a lot and not eating well. I kind of thought maybe he was just getting old. I ask him to handle this as he caused it with this dumb rock game. Though I certainly was more delicate in my delivery.

This is where his maturity is really going to shine through. He tells me the dog does not sleep too much at his house and says lack of appetite and excessive sleep are probably due to him having to endure my company. Ahh, so mature. And then he tells me I am not allowed to talk to his sister in law! Hah. Seriously! Guess he thinks this is Saudi Arabia?!?! Um, and how do plan to stop that?

I ignore because I just can’t believe this is where he is mentally. When you step away from this it is just jaw dropping to glimpse it again. But I forewarn ex sis that she’ll get an ear full from her hubby as my ex will be rip roarin’ mad that we have maintained a friendship. (She has long recognized something is wrong with my ex.). And she told her h to back off as she can have her own friends and is not to be controlled (you think?!?!).

Ex then texts that I need video proof of him playing this with the dog. And I just say: you know you did it, you know I did not approve nor did I play this with him, our kids know you did it and they saw it as well. There is right and there is wrong. (Guess he has yet to reach that developmental stage.)

He says it was cracked before we separated and I owe 1/2. I really do not want the dog in the middle of this. But I say, if that is the case, why did you not ask me to pay 1/2 in the divorce proceedings? If you had done so, I would have said this was your thing with the dog and you should take care of it as I had no part in it. The judge would have sided with me based on this and he would paid for it. And then I told him contractually we agreed no renegotiated past expenses. If we were married I would owe 1/2 for his moronic behavior but we are not.

One more glimpse of where he is mentally? A few weekends ago we pull into the parking lot for s’s game at the same time. S is already at the court so he thankfully is not witness to this silliness. Ex speeds past me in the parking lot which is full but for 3 spaces right near each other. I pull into one. No sign of ex who pulled a NASCAR lap on me. Someone pulls into the spot next to me. I get out and see ex had pulled into the third one and is smirking, trying not to laugh as he speed walks past me.

You just can’t make this stuff up! This is 5 years post BD and he’ll be 51 (still going on 17).