When my W told me I was an "awesome person" on the phone, my thoughts were:
- Believe none of what they say. - This could be a strategy to butter me up. - She is confused. People are not both "awesome" and "violent and abusive."
The one thought I did not have was: "My W believes I am an awesome person."
I reached out to mediators this week. I can see I am going to need to drive this train, as I have every incentive to get mediation started and my W has every incentive to drag her feet. My W has plenty of schedule excuses as these sessions will need to be at a time where childcare is available for D4.
You and I have different situations, but I do identify with yours as far as you having the need to press for mediation to protect yourself financially and with your son. It is hard to strike that proper balance between standing up for your needs without being coldly aggressive. I'm trying to be respectful because I want us to have the best co-parenting relationship that we can for the kids' sake. If her mind changes down the road and she wants to pursue R, I guess that's fine. I'm indifferent. Even if her mind did change, I have no clue if I would be willing to try to work it out. I have some deep scars. I have some anger and resentment. I'm not sure it will go away, and that's okay. Better to acknowledge it than try to act like it's not there.
On the GAL front, things are pretty good. I'm going to a concert tomorrow night with a friend, lifting weights 3x/week, and hoping to hit the surf next week (although the water is frrrrrrigid). I'd like to get more involved in social activities and meet some new people, but work has gotten busy and I've been spending a lot of free time researching the upcoming process.
