22 Years Gone Part 2

[rooskers]

D13 had a therapy visit yesterday and the first 10 minutes of it was with her mom. D13's therapist met with her mom the hour before D13's appointment. I sent the therapist a couple of emails XW has been sending me about D13 so she could address some of the problems. The therapist told XW point blank that she needs to stop all the harassing, accusatory, blaming emails to me at once. The therapist said your relationship difficulties with D13 are a direct result of your actions and have nothing to do with your XH. Your daughter needs space and time and you are giving her neither. Your daughter needs to decide if she wants reconciliation with you and you need to accept that if she does choose that it will be on her timeline not yours. You also need to accept you walked out on her life and just because you want back in doesn't mean she does and you need to accept that as well. If you have issues with your XH (me) then you need to address these issues with him and leave D13 out of it and not use her to hurt him. Last but not least, you paint yourself as a victim, but you need to accept the fact that you are the one who left D13, and you are the one based on your actions over the lifetime of D13 that has caused this distancing between you and her not your XH. This is what D13's therapist told me the rest she said was confidential but I was appreciative in all that she said.

We then got there and D13 had her 10-15 minutes where she proceeded to lay into her mom about all the lies she has been telling over the last 2 years. D13's therapist often interrupted D13 to look at her mom and comment "that isn't what you told me in our session alone together" and another lie would be exposed. XW denied saying lot of stuff and D13 would then just pull up some of the emails (therapist also had some of the emails) and read them and XW would then get really angry. By the end of it D13 said her mom would glare at her like fire was coming from her eyes. D13 looked right back into her eyes and said "I am not afraid! You will regret the day you try to hurt me or my dad again!" I was in the waiting room so all I saw was XW open the door and storm away full of anger. D13 told me after what happened.

All I know is it hurt to know XW continues to destroy a possible relationship with D13. After the therapy session D13 said "Dad, I am close to getting my own lawyer to cease all contact with mom." I replied "Time D13, give it time."

Thank you DS9. We have a fake Christmas tree that we really liked but it is too difficult since we used the same one since D13 was born. So to start new traditions we are going to cut our own this year. I will hop over to your sitch to see how things are going on your end.