Just finding this tough to even be assertive through fear of conflict.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
"Good fences make good neighbors." Asserting your boundaries, and respecting hers, is the potential way out of this recurring conflict. The murkier the borders, the more conflict you're both in for.
Building the wall in the first place, of course, is unpleasant.
[Side note--Robert Frost's "Mending Wall" is credited with this line, but his poem actually disagrees with the concept--at least when neighbors have no basis for potential dispute, the walls simply separate us.]
I love Ready2Change's line in the sand, and that it's at the end after a reasonable proposal instead of the beginning: "If I don't hear back from you by (give her two days to responds), I will plan on following the normal parenting schedule." That you already have an agreed-upon schedule, that gives you the whole week, and you both need to approve exceptions is a strong position and should allow you room to negotiate a deal for this year and future years that gives you both access to the kids without too many exchanges.
In my custody agreement, one of us has Xmas Eve and Morning, the other has Xmas Day and the week after for a winter vacation. A single exchange, and both get to enjoy holiday magic with the kids!
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
