Thank you kml. I'm sorry to hear that you experienced similar mistreatment from your XH with your illness. It's shocking once you take a step back from the toxicity and realise how dysfunctional and unhealthy the dynamic was. Making things more confusing for me is that H is my only relationship to date, so I have nothing to compare against.
My H's attitude towards my PND is best described as hands-off. Like a pat on the head - "there, there" - and a robotic inquiry of "what do you need?" The implication being, go and sort yourself out and come back when you're fixed. I remember one night calling him in tears and begging him to come home from work because I couldn't cope with the baby a minute longer. He said no, he'd be home at his scheduled time in an hour. Wow!
Looking back now, I'm sad that the first year of my son's life is tainted with such dark memories, and his second year will be shadowed by his father's abandonment. Hoping for a better third year
You're right that it does echo the coach. That's quite fascinating.
Having no contact with H is doing wonders for me. I feel like I'm leaving him in the dust, and looking in my rearview mirror, I feel... nothing. While I do believe he is experiencing a transitional crisis, likely brought on by the pregnancy/birth of our son, it also seems like he is simply a man who lacks integrity, honesty, courage; all the qualities I value above all else, and wish to instill in my son.
He moved out four days after BD. During that time, I asked him if he regretted becoming a father. He hesitated for a very long time before answering "I don't know. Sometimes". Our son was a planned baby, so that was hard to hear at the time. Now, it makes me determined to protect S1 from H's indifference.
