Don h thanks for the advice. Now I have come up with a plan going forward. I have been really stuck and it seems worse now that you add the stress of dealing with a basketball season that is beginning.
I discussed with my stitch tonight that it is clear she doesn’t know what she wants and she and I both know she has been in communication with the OM. She knows I know and when I caught her I kicked her out the MB. I still have to come home and see her each day along with any behavior that may trigger me feeling unsafe and that she is messaging him in my presence.
I have asked her to move out and that I need separation to help myself heal and due to the fact that she refuses to stop contact with the OM. Our relationship will never improve unless that stops. I am giving her 2 weeks to look for a place to stay.
In the meantime I am taking my son to live with me at my grandmothers house which is vacant. I have agreed to do split custody while I’m living apart but she must find another place to live within 2 weeks. I have got to let her go and being separated will help me. I have realized that we could live in this state of limbo for a very long time. I am not strong enough to live in the same house and keep her or the fear of her messaging him off my mind. I wish I was strong enough to wait this out but I’m afraid I may lose my sanity if I don’t remove myself. I will make sure my son is with me at least the first week so I can comfort him and let him know why I have made this decision.
Oh and I told you guys we live in a rural town. My grandmothers house is across the street from the OM’s new home that he purchased. Crappy luck I guess. She knows this also and told me that I wouldn’t be moving over there. My response was you are wrong, you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.
She loves being in control and when I talk about separation or divorce she gets emotional. She says she don’t think she can divorce me. Well I am tired of living in limbo. Some men can do this for years but not this man. If this pushes her into his arms then I never had a chance anyways.
She also had the nerve to ask me if I would take her back after we split up. I told her $&;8& no I wouldn’t take you back. I may find some else between now and then.
