How do we begin to talk as friends? I don't call him @ all. We don't date yet? He initiates all calls. Should I just start to say so how was your day and take it from there. I think that when he calls he wants to have more general convo. but I'm so busy trying to b the 1st to end convo. that i am missing opportunities!
The other thing is when we use to Ml. afterwards even if he didn't stay, we would talk, maybe fix something to eat and have some laughs. The problem was because I think he was furious that he let guard down so he would be mean a couple of days later or distant around family to prove he is serious. How do I find balance?
Quote: He initiates all calls. Should I just start to say so how was your day and take it from there.
That sounds good. Don't cut your calls off before you have a chance to have some sort of convo. I don't think I ever followed this rule very well. LOL What does he talk about when he calls? I did lots of just listening. H wound up calling me a couple of times when he was upset, but wouldn't admit it. I just asked him if he wanted to talk, and eventually he just spilled what was on his mind.
Quote: How do I find balance?
You won't, not for a long time. H and I still go up and down, but it's evening out. Every time you and your H spend time together, he's going to pull back for some time afterwards. Just expect it, and find something else to do in that time.
At some point, you need to spend time together, a little bit at a time, to rebuild your M. It sounds like--and I may be wrong here!--that you've pulled way, way back and are waiting to see if he will come around. I would try something small, and non-R. Maybe a little longer phone conversation. Ask about his day, or something like that. Get him something to drink the next time he is showing your S how to mow. That sort of thing. And then see how he responds.
I have been dark for 5 wks. I really am not at all pursuing but at the same time want to be loving. I don't want to Ml because I think he was cake eating, although I know he enjoys it.
When he 1st left that was 1 of his issues, not enuff ML. After he was gone for a month I tried to come onto him. He said, it is phony. You don't want me. Then I started doing the things he was asking me all along. Strip show, maid uniforms, blindfolds....whatever and he loved it. Why didit take for him to leave for me to do these things is his question? I just think that I really had no clue it was to this point. I really have learned a lot while he has benn gone. He says too little too late but we will see.........
Nevanna, once I had him come over and had a bubble bath running,glowing bububbles and wrote on moirror in bathroom. You Tarzan, me Jane, Let's swing 2nite!!!!!!! He loved it!
I guess he sys too little too late becaue he has OW clouding his judgement right now.
I don't think I ever followed this rule very well. LOL What does he talk about when he calls? I did lots of just listening. H wound up calling me a couple of times when he was upset, but wouldn't admit it. I just asked him if he wanted to talk, and eventually he just spilled what was on his mind.