I do accept that many of my behaviours have been coercive, controlling, neglectful and very damaging and regardless of my intentions abusive to my wife.
I do struggle with accepting that my issues with intimacy with her were all due to me withholding to control her. That doesn't minimise the harm done. But at some point I want to make that clear or discuss it.
I'm completely open to addressing this in any way possible.
I would be lying if I said some part of me didn't want to demonstrate a desire to change to my wife , as of now I still hold out hope of reconciliation in the future.
But it is equally about wanting to be a better man, building self esteem and confidence and losing the fear and emotional dependency that has underpinned my life to date.
This is for me, my kids and any future relationship
