I struggled and continue to struggle with detachment. I also worried that detaching would give my H reason to believe we were growing apart. The thing that is most helpful to remember is that detachment isn’t so much about the way you interact with him (though DB does have guidelines around that too, clearly) and has more to do with how much those interactions affect you and guide your choices. I thought for a long time that to be detached meant to be cold and distant. It isn't. It’s really about putting the focus on getting to a place emotionally where you feel OK on your own, regardless of what is going on with your spouse and your relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I have NOT mastered this. But that realization helped me get a little farther along.
I also think it’s Worth noting that detachment definitely seems to be much easier for some types of people than it is for others. For me it is extremely challenging. Perhaps it will be for you too. Be patient and kind with yourself!
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
