My Story 3

[hoosjim]

All those that know my story would you recommend I sign up for the 3 coaching sessions?

I found them to be quite helpful. You are right that they are not cheap (though not really any more than some therapists) and not "insurable", but at the end of the day i thought they were worth it. You'd definitely need more than one... a pack of three is a reasonable start and if at the end you think you're on a good track you can always buy more. I tended to stretch mine out a little more than weekly for money reasons, and still felt i was getting valuable feedback and that it was helpful. A couple of things to keep in mind: 1) Make sure you get a coach you "click" with... They have plenty available so don't be afraid to tell them "hey, this one im just not connecting with, can i try someone different." At the end of the day, these folks are much like counselors, so "fit" is important. I ended up switching after my first session and was very glad that i did... connected much better with coach #2. 2) Dont forget that you have a WW... and that changes the calculus a bit for you. These are "Divorce Busting" coaches, and MWD still doesn't explicitly have any specific tips/guidance regarding WW's... although pretty much everything Sandi2 says about WW's and how to deal with them is consistent, in one way or another, with the core tenets of DB-ing... Just don't forget that (the WW) angle, and don't be afraid to ask questions and push back a little of some piece of advice or line of questioning doesn't seem quite right to you. I found the coaching most helpful in the areas of 180-ing and GAL-ing and validating and detaching/pursuit/distance.

I have also scheduled a Dr's appointment to see if I can get help with my OCD and obsessive thoughts. Not sure if that is a good idea but it may help. I don;t seem to have a ton of anxiety but rather a lot of obsessive thoughts that keep me stuck.

Tough call, here. Mental health is obviously extremely important and if you really believe you have a clinical problem then you should absolutely seek health. OTOH, try to consider the possibility that you are just experiencing some of the normal, PTSD-type reactions/feelings that all LBH's in this sitch tend to experience. My suggestion would be to maybe seek out a MC who also does IC. I was fortunate that my own chosen MC did IC, was familiar with affairs and WWs, was pro-marriage and also goals-oriented... IOW very compatible with the DB philosophy and also very helpful in navigating alot of the feelings and problems I was experiencing (including obsessive thoughts, etc) that, while real and troublesome, did not rise to the level of a clinical "mental illness." You don't want to end up on medications that you don't need and that might ultimately be counterproductive.