My friend and i were talking about my ex husband. She told me how how he never seemed to be into me. Or into anything. That he was just empty and boring. Nothing to him and was just going through the motions from early on. I wonder if it’s cause he was just never really that into me or if he’s incapable of being really into anyone. Like I can’t imagine him putting a love interest first or feeling deeply about anyone. Like I would honestly be shocked if he ever remarried or found someone he was head over heels with. I can’t picture it and I can’t picture a woman being ok with his in attention and lack of passion at this stage.
I still feel traumatized that I stayed with someone like that. Like, being in a loveless marriage is really traumatizing. My ex actually told me when he first left “nothing will change for you. It’s not like you had my affection” so he was completely aware. And thats hard on me that I put up with that. Especially now with dating and seeing what other guys are like with me.
It’s the complete opposite of what I’m experiencing now. BF makes every effort to spend time, and makes it known through actions and words how into me he is. We do talk commitment and futures. He seems genuine and is so excited to be around me - he tells me how lucky he feels and how I’m basically his fantasy girl and he can’t believe he is dating me....but I also know from life that the guys that fall hard and fast also fall out of love quickly and suddenly too.... but my ex didn’t fall hard and fast. It took my ex a year to say I love you. Back then, I thought “ex was normal and good for me because he took his time and it’s the real thing and he wanted to make sure and he’s stable and slow moving and that’s better”. But it wasn’t. He just wasn’t that into me. BF is really into me which is opposite of ex.
Anyway. Lots to think about. My ex also doesn’t spend a lot of time with his own son. And if you can’t love your son like that what does that say? Emotionally avoidant attachment style? With everyone? I wish we had classes on this stuff when we were younger. I wasted so much time.
