... so I have enormous respect for you and others who are dealing with these awful situations right in your face and are still able to be calm and detached (just saying "hey" at the club was pretty bad a**. Nice job.). ...
Giving me too much credit here... I didn't even have time to think or panic, and it was just my typical reaction to say "hey" to someone I recognize. Oh man... her facial expression was priceless though.
After going to the bathroom, I was emotionally shaken up for like 5 min, but I was able to calm myself to not to let it ruin my plans. Plus what did this incident change in terms of what I already know or think - nothing.
I was discussing with my friend today the incident, and he said that an Alpha would have punched OM to let him know there's consequences to sleeping with other people wives, and that I was displaying Beta tendencies. Yeah, those thoughts cross my mind, but if I punched OM, wouldn't I also do the same to WW for being a willing participant? I can't literally chase away every other guy, if WW wants out. Plus I don't want to get sued or goto jail for people that aren't worth it.
Originally Posted by may22
... Not sure if any of this was helpful, but hang in there. Thinking of you! ...
Thanks! It helps to just feel the support and hear another perspective.
I'm not that strong to hang on much longer, especially when I'm detaching and gaining more self respect / confidence back everyday, and I start to question whether I can even respect someone like that again. There would have to be a lot of change to account for all the EAs. Even then, who am I going back to and am I willing to risk the chance of relapse and me cycling thru that suffering again?
However, as much as I'm able to detach to the outcome, this limbo is still consuming too much of my attention. So started researching mediators and outlining my finance breakdown proposal. It's pretty depressing listing out your home, assets, and furniture that you purchased together for your life to now think about D.
We'll see... I'm definitely in my anger phase of the grieving process. Whereas before I was definitely in denial then negotiation. Looking forward to acceptance, or maybe I will yo yo between negotiation and anger.
