You know, I was all over the place. I started out with the idea that he was an insensitive selfish bastard. Then I had ruined our marriage. Then I sat down and did some hard-core thinking. What I finally realized is that, at least with us, assigning who was at fault was stupid. We both had done some pretty horrible things. I got to where I just wanted to fix it, and that helped me so much. I think my attitude rubbed off on H, too, because we made an agreement to leave the past behind us--this is a whole new R, all the baggage was gone.
Okay, that was long-winded. Anyway, I think "responsibility," in general, is a bad way of looking at it. I think what works better is seeing how your interactions are unproductive, because you are two different people with two different ways of communicating.
Anyway, I think "responsibility," in general, is a bad way of looking at it. I think what works better is seeing how your interactions are unproductive, because you are two different people with two different ways of communicating. 
