The daily test of emotional fortitude

[Traveler]

Yesterday W asked (via text) if she could stop by an after-school thing my kids have

Check. I rarely to never prevent my ex-wife from seeing the kids during extra-curricular activities.

I said okay, but also told her that I was planning to leave work early to pick up the kids from the activity (Normally our babysitter would take them to my house for another hour until I get home from work). I said I don't mind if she and her friend stop by, but wanted her to know in case she wants to avoid any awkwardness with her friend there. I assumed she wanted to avoid us running into each other.

Was your message as simple as:
"You and <friend> are welcome to stop by. I'm picking the kids up at <time>."?

Then I responded with: "Yes I was planning to pick them up at time xyz. But if you and your friend want to watch them to the end, I can go to my house. Please arrange to have them dropped off afterwards and pay the babysitter for her extra time if she is dropping them off."

Seems complicated. During my custody, my ex-wife is a passenger. "You and <friend> are welcome to stop by. I'm picking the kids up at <time> pm." I do not offer to modify my custody.

My last message to my ex-wife: "If you're asking me to take the weekend of Dec 6 - Dec 8, please confirm. Yes, I can!" No feelings, alternate proposals, etc. I initially considered telling her how much trouble I went to, to modify my schedule to take over her custody period, and how close I came to saying no. But, why? I accept or I don't. I usually accept time (no trades) because I like time with my kids. My choice.

I texted her a screenshot of my confirmation the night before of my precise plan and said: "Sorry for the confusion. This is what I sent last night and I thought it was clear."

I'm confused. Wasn't that the last text you sent, or you sent so many texts you need to refer back?

Her: "You did text that. Thanks for the limited time with them."
2. I did feel guilty.
3. I could tell my W was stirred up.

She does sound annoyed. Why do you feel guilty? You were more accommodating than I would be, and most single parents I talk to are surprised how well my ex-wife and I get along.

She asked to share your time due to a special circumstance and you granted her request.