Oh my goodness! My previous post sounds as if I was drunk......and I don't even drink, (but I was very sleepy when I wrote it). I was trying to say that I think your W is deeply wounded, and until she can find peace & healing, I don't think your MR is going to reconcile. The two of you are too emotionally intertwined, and not in a healthy way. You have to back away, don't pressure her emotionally, and let her work through the pain. Frankly, I think the only type of therapy that will help is to find an expert who deals with healing after affairs.
She doesn't love this OM, but she wants the pain to go away and thinks this is the way to do it. It's so tragic that everything is in such a mess.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
