Is the purpose of not telling her about putting the Christmas tree around that area to establish respect? She has lost all respect for me, so if that helps, I'm all for it.
I saw your comment in another thread that she has moved into the living room with a chest of her clothes that you would have to remove to set the tree up, so based on that I'm going to go back on what I said before and say don't do it, it's going to cause too much extra friction in an already volatile relationship. Set the tree up somewhere else and leave her be. If there's no place else for the tree then get a small one and put it in the kids' room. Next year you can set it up wherever you want, but try to avoid rocking the boat for now.
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I consulted with my L, she said to only discuss thanksgiving with her and the rest during mediation. I also told my W to give me a few days to think about Thanksgiving.
Again in the spirit of not rocking the boat, be responsive on this kind of stuff. Thanksgiving is barely a week away, telling her you need days to think about it seems like dragging your feet. I know this stuff is hard but face it down and try to keep the peace as much as possible.
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So her L sent mine an ultimatum that I need to discuss that with my W by tomorrow or she'll advise my W I'm not interested in holidays with my kids and she can do whatever plans she wanted to.
It's not an unreasonable request, and never should have gone to the lawyers.
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The other thing, this morning it looks like my W read the response to her filing for D from my L and she's pissed. I haven't even read it myself but my L outlined that she was pretty irresponsible with our finances and dissipated our assets, so I imagine it said there that we're not going to split everything 50/50 (as a background, my W CASHED OUT my kids pre-paid college fund ... !!! 3 of them).
Well, that was VERY irresponsible of her. Don't back down on this, fair is fair no matter how much she hates it.
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This will probably hurt my chances for reconciliation, but I'll be honest, I'm tired of her screwing up our finances and the future of our kids.
It will have no impact on future reconciling possibilities. I've seen couples reconcile after far worse.
