Victorious III

[rooskers]

Oz this is a pro marriage site and in many cases I believe in standing for your marriage. There are some cases where I don't believe standing for your marriage is the right thing but you will have to come to your own decision about this.

1)If you wait for her to file for divorce do you believe it would harm your child? Would it damage your relationship with your child? Do you believe you would not get to be as involved in your child's life because you waited for divorce? Only you and possibly a lawyer can answer these, but if your answer is an honest "no" to these questions then why push for a divorce? Like AS said let her do the heavy lifting. If the answer to many of these questions is yes then you may want to proceed with a D.

By all means, go speak with a lawyer, understand the D process, and what your rights are. DIY divorce is an option. There are templates and standard forms. Arm yourself with knowledge.

When it comes to custody please do not DIY. When I said above to get a lawyer who specializes in child custody it only meant to arm yourself with knowledge and your rights (like AS said above), not to start divorce proceedings unless your answer to the above questions was yes.

2)Would waiting for divorce permanently harm you financially? Is your marriage and standing for it mean more than her possibly getting more money if you wait for her to file after your raises? These are only questions you can answer.

The easy path is divorce. The hard path is standing for your marriage.

100% disagree. Both are equally hard. An example would be is it harder for an abuse victim to leave or stay with their abuser? If you read or talk to many abuse victims they would tell you it would have been easier to stay than to leave. If it was easier to leave an abusive relationship then we wouldn't have nearly the problems with abuse as we do, but instead we have so many from football, gymnastics, marriages, religious groups, and many more. Standing for your marriage is difficult and leaving that marriage is just as difficult.

You have a ton of personal work that needs to be done. You can do this work now, with out getting D.

If the most you are getting is her being irritated, ignored, lack of love, lack of emotions, angry, then getting a divorce is not going to put a stop to any of that. You would get all of those after a divorce and possibly more. If those type of things are your biggest concern then why file when you could do the personal work you need and let her get the divorce if she wants. You win either way then. If she wants to reconcile you have grown as a person and if she doesn't you still have grown as a person.