This is very eerie because I was just about to ask “what about separation instead of filing for D”.
This also confuses me because of Steve’s comments about “don’t wait for the other person to take action”. That I should be the one who takes action
I've said that several times in your thread as well. I'm not specifically saying you need to pursue D, I'm just saying that Oz needs to figure out what Oz wants, and Oz needs to pursue that and not just sit around waiting to see what his W is going to do (because she may never do anything). Now that is the opposite of what I normally suggest to people, normally I recommend people take a wait-and-see approach. But that's because most people have the gift of plenty of time, and if it's going to take their W 2 years to turn around then maybe it's worth waiting for. I see your situation differently than most here because of the cancer. You are one hell of a fighter Oz, and you may have a good long life ahead of you. But you may not. You've gotten indications that perhaps you don't. Your W is nowhere close to being in a position to reconcile, and I don't think she can even handle your battle with cancer at all so she is unlikely to EVER support you in it, and you do not deserve that kind of treatment. You are worth WAY more. Whatever time you have left, I want to see you not just persevere but ENJOY it. When you write about how your W treats you, it's awful. Just terrible, it makes me really sad not just that you don't get the support you need from someone close, but that someone could be so utterly heartless towards a total stranger battling cancer much less their own spouse. I honestly don't think she's worth waiting around one more minute for considering every minute you have left is something precious. The same could be said for any of us, who knows how long any of us has left.
Just as a hypothetical scenario, if you had one year left then what would you do. Would you remain as-is with your W, or would you say "screw this if time is short I am going to spend it with people that actually care about me!" Whatever you decide, I respect that, it is your choice and if you choose to spend it with your W then so be it. But think about it. Visualize what you want from the rest of your life if you knew time was short, and make that happen.
