I strongly second everything AnotherStander said in his last post. You can do this!
re: Alcohol, I was surprised when you mentioned drinking this weekend. You say you were drinking and a bit out-of-control when you spoke to her new best friend. You started this thread by saying:
Originally Posted by "JDevast initially"
i was a chronic alcoholic for the 1st 9 years of our relationship until my wife sought help and identified me as an emotional abuser.
Originally Posted by "JDevast this weekend"
I messed up last night, had a drink too many and should have stayed completely clear of her friend. I'm not in control when I've had a few
What are your 180s related to alcohol? Are you regularly attending Alcoholics Anonymous and/or completing a treatment plan? People serious about taking control of their lives back from alcohol rarely rely on willpower. Alcoholism is an addiction. It's also hard to imagine that the choice to drink alcohol has been "worth it" in your life--that it's done something so positive that outweighs the above negatives.
Limitations afford us growth opportunities, visible 180s that can improve our lives measurably.
