Had a thought of guilt today that I'm not contacting W at all. Not asking her how she is, how she's getting on etc.
That's because DB'ing is counter-intuitive. Your heart is telling you that you need to "nice" her back. Remind her you love her and that you're patiently waiting for her. Maybe buy her some flowers or a nice gift to show how much you care. A card perhaps. Reach out and touch someone. That's Hollywood garbage. She WANTS to be left alone right now. She WANTS as little of you as possible. If she could push a button and have you shipped off to a deserted island somewhere like Tom Hanks in Castaway then she would be mashing it over and over again. Give her what she wants- "not you".
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I am worried that she thinks I don't care about her, or maybe other people (family/friends) she is talking to think that I don't care as I've not "tried to fight" or whatever.
That's classic beta NGS stuff. Try to shift your worries over to what awesome GAL stuff you're doing.
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I guess this is normal. Just felt a bit anxious that I may be coming across as uncaring.
Completely normal, and it's good that you asked here instead of doing something you shouldn't.
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I've been doing well with GAL this week - gym 4 times so far, trip to London yesterday to meet a friend and watch a classical concert, plus this weekend is busy. So the PMA is still there. I just miss her company really.
Good! And of course you do, recovering from a long-term relationship takes time!
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But it's making me feel bad that I'm not speaking to her.
But it's what she wants. You're doing it for her, not you.
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Having said that - yes, she is not speaking to me either, but I don't know if that's her 100% or others again telling her not to reach out and she's just following that to keep the peace.
That's 100% her. She doesn't want to talk to you. The sooner you wrap your head around that then the easier it will be for you to accept DB'ing. She's not the person you fell in loved with and married anymore. Maybe she will be again some day, but it's going to take time.
At some point she may very well say something like "well you've been so cold and distant and that has made things worse" or "you didn't fight for me so I gave up caring" but rest assured it's WAS script. She'll say things like that to support her WAS narrative and shift blame to you. If she does say things like that then either don't reply, or reply with validation. "It sounds like you're frustrated, is that how you feel?"
