J, I can't stress this enough, you're in the long game. I think you're still hoping that if you do this and that it'll trigger some change in her and things will go back to the way they were. But that's not going to happen. If you can do 180's, and stick to them, and focus on you and the kids, and leave your W alone, then that is your best chance to affect some change in her way down the road (6 months, a year, maybe more). But you can't rub her face in it, like contacting her to tell her that her friends said hello. I think if you're honest with yourself you're wanting to tell her "look at me, I'm GAL'ing!" But for now, she just doesn't care. She doesn't love you, and she probably doesn't like you. All your actions just look like sad, pathetic tricks to get her back. She knows you're faking it right now, she can read you like a book. Stop putting on a show for her.
Here's the trick to GAL'ing- it's not initially fun and exciting. You'll HATE it. You're hurting, and you want to curl up in a ball somewhere and be miserable. Don't pretend to be out having a good time when you're not. It's OK to be down and hurting! You don't have to hide it from everyone all the time. Just don't blatantly bawl in front of people or pour your heart out (unless it's here). Try to act as-if, but don't try to act like you don't care. Right? Just MAKE yourself GAL. Go through the motions. Keep doing it and eventually you'll start liking your GAL, and think less about your W. Then you'll start loving it, and you will start putting your sitch behind you. That is how it works- slowly over time. And that is how it will impact your W- slowly over time. There are no magic bullets here or anywhere else on the Internet for this. Progress is measured in tiny baby steps that over time may add up to something bigger.
I think I mentioned before that it was silly to agree not to talk to mutual friends or even "her" friends. This is your life and your GAL, live it. It's going to intersect with her life now and then, if she doesn't like that then that is TOUGH SH** for her. She needs to suck it up, because you're a force to be reckoned with, and you're not going to tuck tail and run just because one of her friends walked into the same room, are you.
