I doubt you’re going see any movement because you guys have more contact then some married couples. Time and space are the only things that term these sitches around long term.
Really you messaged her to say old friends said hi????
Yeah, that was really stupid of me, not sure what I was thinking, I need to step back again. I seem to be lurching from doing ok and then flailing about saying the wrong things.
LH19 are you saying we have too much contact for any chance of db working?
Yep, I'm not going to pass on any messages to her from anyone,
I messed up last night, had a drink too many and should have stayed completely clear of her friend.
Made the mistake of mixing Gal, socialising etc with a drink and it's a small town. I'm not in control when I've had a few Feel I've set stuff back a fair way.
Don't know how to proceed except pulling right back, again going to have to communicate re work and kids.
I would suggest you cut back on your drinking if you can't control yourself.
Ok. First let's talk about your statement of DB working. DB is a way of life that gives you the best chance at recon. So far I have to say you are below average at following the process.
With all the contact you have she is never going to have a chance to miss you. She will never figure out that you are the reason she is so unhappy.
I will say this though the way she is treating you leads me to believe there are signs there are still feelings. Most WWs who are just done will try to keep it amicable until the process is over.
Detach and crush your life. Be a great dad, get in the gym, run a half marathon, take guitar lessons. No that no matter what happens you will have a great life.
J, it's very hard but you must not communicate unless absolutely necessary (e.g. urgent finance stuff, kids, and not much else except extraordinary family emergencies).
I'm in the same boat - I do fine for a week or two then I have a lapse. I don't reach out like I used to now, but I do think about her and wonder/worry. I have to keep telling myself to stop doing that. I cannot control her, I cannot force her to change her mind. You must do the same.
It's awful because you feel you are ignoring her. But that is part of detaching. Keep reading the detachment thread; I try to revisit it every week or so.
You have to keep up GAL and PMA.
Me - 36, W - 32 No kids T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr Discovery - 14 May 2019 S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019 D & House sale final - Feb 2020
Been re reading the detachment thread, think this is where my focus should be.
This morning I receive a phone call from WAW, saying she had been thinking about a coach trip to London with the kids to see the Xmas lights etc and invited me along as she thought it would be good for the kids. She asked if I was free to come.
I replied I would need to check but that it sounded like a good idea for the kids.
She then started talking about how she is struggling with the house and needs to get a cleaner I just let her talk about it, and validated.
2 hours later I receive a message, that she's been thinking about the trip and no longer thinks it's a good idea, she doesn't feel comfortable with it. I reply, that's ok.
Then she's immediately back to messages about work " how are the orders going today"?
