I ended up spending the day today with my W and son...Sunday is her day to spend with him but she invited me along and based on our previous chat I decided to enjoy the day with no expectations.
We had a very nice day but we did chat while my son took his nap.
She finally apologized for her behaviour last December/January and for making my feel insecure about our relationship (she was going out friday nights with guys from work until 2am). She said at that point she just didn't care about anything. She was crying as she told me this and she felt really sad for how I must have felt and for putting me through that. I just listened as best I could.
She also talked about losing her dad and how that affected her. Again, started crying. Said she still doens't think she has processed his death and she became so good at holding everything in. Also said that it did affect her and her feelings about everything and it was like that since he was diagnosed.
Also talked about what she has learned - she said she needs to learn to communicate better and she wished she would have told me much earlier that she wasnt' feeling good about things in her life in general. She does admit she needs help counseling to sort through all her feelings.
We didn't talk about the future at all - she knows how I feel. But she did talk about her living situation as her lease is up at the end of January. She said her life is still a mess and she has lots to sort out before making a decision. She said she wanted to leave it at that.
I hugged her and thanked her for opening up. She seemed to really appreciate me listening to her and not judging her. She's actually distanced herself from her brother right now as she felt judged by him and that's one of her big things in life that she hates.
It seems at this point she still needs time to sort through her mess but it's nice to see she's feeling better in general and she's made the odd comment about the future but I don't read anything into it.
Her priorities right now are (not in order): 1) exercise 2) deal with the loss of her dad in counseling 3) see a psychiatrist 4) eat better
Any thoughts are appreciated.
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
