Wedding bands On or Off during MLC

[AuroraTr]

Thank you for the replies so far. Over the last year. Endlessly picking fights with me and blame for everything,excessively working out, fretting over her appearance (even half sarcastically talking boob job) new group of friends, out dancing least twice a week, listening to new current music, talking about getting a cool car, saying I kept her down, saying the freedom she has now had to be taken from me, responsibilities to the kids is adequate but no where close what it used to be, new wardrobe, leave behind old friends, despising younger women for their looks.

When she dropped the bomb she said she needed space for personal growth. Later she injected that as far as she is concerned we are temporally separated and any going ons at this point is not cheating. She said things like her sh.t cup is full and she is tired of taking care of everyone, it's her time for fun and does not feel guilty for being completely selfish. She said she has the right to not want the life she has anymore and she is going to change it. During the bomb drop she baited me with hurtful words trying to get the whole thing to blow up. She also said "a year or two ago I was her for choice for everything in her life, now she could care less" . Also she stated she may regret her decision, and in five years come back to me but understands that the door may have closed and is O.K. with that. We did not have an open relationship and before this we were in deeply in love.

I think her 40th bday may have been a switch, she started working out shortly after, during that time I did notice some moodiness and some lashing out at me. All of our discussions are centered around her and no effort to find anything out about me. I am in Ontario Canada btw.

Yeah I think the ring will stay on. As far as the sex goes I am nowhere ready to engage in that however if this process can take years to play out at some point I may have had enough, and I'm sure my I will reach that point sooner if I remain celibate. Of course having sex with another women may lead to heavy guilt on me and may doom the marriage.

As far as taking care of myself I have joined a gym and started dance lessons. I'm pretty well centered at this point and detached and have been perfectly civil with her during this process. Last couple of days it would seem my old wife is back, she initiates conversation, laughs at my jokes that I make to the kids and such. I do understand that this good behavior means nothing though.

Once again thank you for sharing your deeply personal experiences with me, it means a lot. Apologies for grammar and punctuation as I am typing this on my phone so wife won't accidentally see.