Check with your lawyer about whether or not you can change the locks. In my area, you can change the locks once the spouse has removed his/her personal items and the legal separation paperwork is done. As for tools, etc., they are not considered personal.
I, too, agree that you need to have yourself checked out by your Gyn. You never know who he has hooked up w/and what he may or may not have contracted.
I had to laugh about the salt and pepper shakers, etc. They tend to take whatever strikes their fancy and they happen to see it at that time. There is no rhyme or reason for what they do. I suggest that you go around your home and thoroughly look...there may even be more items that he's taken that you aren't aware of. In fact, take photos of each room so that you can keep track of the items in your home until the locks are changed.
As for the stuff in the driveway, he didn't care if they were stolen or not. Like a teenager, they can be very forgetful and that may have been his way of telling you how he felt about having to remove items or it could have just been that he didn't think about putting stuff back. I would suggest that you place the stuff that you want him to take in one place, advise him to come get it by a certain time and if he doesn't, you will donate it, have a yard sale or you could even get a storage locker (put the lease in his name and pay the first month). They do tend to leave a lot of stuff behind and it could be his way of having an excuse to come there periodically or he just doesn't need that stuff from his old life. Whatever the reason...after you have notified him and given him a reasonable timeframe to get it, it will then be up to you as to what you want to do with it. However, be sure you document all of your communications w/him.
Continue to keep the focus on you and your family. Your h's trip to Oz has begun and it's going to take quite a bit of time for him to finish his walk on the Yellow Brick Road.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
