Thank you both for the advice. It didn’t feel like the right thing to do - like some kind of blackmail. The real reason I don’t want him in the house is that I still struggle to set aside my feelings and treat him the way I want to treat him, as a friend. But I can’t say that.
H finally replied to my response about his Christmas schedule. There was no rage or blame, which is what I was afraid of. It was actually more respectful than usual. He said he had a good time with S1 on Thursday and dropped him off to daycare on time (late drop offs have been an issue recently). He asked if he could come move his car out of my garage at a time that was convenient to me. He didn’t push back on my Christmas boundaries, but asked if we could compromise on pickup and drop off times for S1’s overnight away. He pointed out that it would work with S1’s nap times.
I was cordial in my reply, validated his feelings about S1, and agreed to his compromise. I thanked him for taking S1’s needs into consideration and for being proactive about the car.
I was out with S1 and friends seeing a play when H came to get the car yesterday. When I arrived home I found some of my things from the garage sitting on the driveway. They must have been blocking his car. I thought it was pretty inconsiderate to leave that stuff out where it could get stolen. He also left a bunch of his garden tools beside the garage that I asked him to please take to his new house. This has been a theme during the move-out process - he forgot to pack essential items like paperwork and his dad’s tools, but took odd things like half of a salt and pepper set of kissing lovers that we used as a wedding cake topper. It’s unlike him to be forgetful and unorganised. He still hasn’t returned the keys to the house either, which he said he would once the last of his stuff was out.
As for me: My anxiety has abated for now. I had a really fun day with friends yesterday. Enjoying prepping for Christmas. Received some great feedback at work last week. Hoping for a more peaceful week to come.
