Confused and Lost II

[may22]

I am getting a hotel in the big city this weekend and visiting with my best friend that I haven't seen in 2 years! I live in a more rural setting about an hour away and she lives in another state. She knows everything about my sitch and is determined for me to get out there and get my "groove" back. I'm nervous and excited. I told her I'm definitely not ready or looking for anything with anyone else - but it would be super nice to be hit on (it feels like it's been forever)!!! Wish me luck. Also, wish me a sound mind so I don't do anything stupid that I know I would regret later! Eeek!

Yay Kristin, that is AWESOME!! I'm so excited for you-- sounds like exactly what you need. Have fun!!

Lately I've been struggling with deciphering whether she is just keeping me as a solid plan B, or whether her heart is fractured and she doesn't know how to rebuild.

Even though people talk a lot here about cake-eating and Plan Bs, my guess is that most WSs aren't diabolically evil plotters thinking through their sitchs logically and thinking "oh! I'll drop a crumb here to keep my LBS on the hook as plan B!" or whatever. They're totally confused/scared and trying to make sense of their own crazy emotions and both the tug of the fun/new/exciting life/love affair AND the very real solid anchors of the life and love they have built with you. I think this is why they say here to believe nothing of what they say and only half of what they do... not because they're purposefully lying, but because they truly do not know themselves what they want. and anything they perceive to be pressure or pursuit just pushes them away further.

Have you watched Esther Perel's TED talks? If not, I highly recommend. She talks about the tension between love and desire, and has a really interesting perspective.

Anyway... most importantly, have an amazing weekend!! I'll be thinking of you having a blast with your BFF and getting hit on left and right!!