Boundaries

[Meredith]

I’m trying to post this before a meeting, so I didn’t count the number of times you used H, he, him, etc…but it was a lot.

Nitaf…I know that this is hard. I know that it doesn’t feel right or natural to be acting this way or living this way. But please, for your sanity’s sake, be firm in your own boundaries to fulfill your needs.

Where did those goals go? Did you go on a bike ride with your son? Did you find out about day care licenses? Did you begin to plan for a party or join something to meet new people? What did you do for NITAF this weekend?

How about this for the next time he calls to ask if he can do laundry. “I’m sorry, I have plans tonight. I’d be happy to have you over on Monday, though”. Maybe not verbatim, but being a little less available would be a good thing. And until he is choosing to treat you respectfully, maybe you should have your car’s service taken care of on your own. Imagine his shock when you say, “thanks for the offer, but I’ve got it taken care of”.

Shock and awe, Nitaf…shock and awe.

I’m glad that you were able to set boundaries on how he talks to you, fabulous work there!