Realized that perhaps I have been far to friendly and positive in our message exchanges so far. Been trying to just give off a Pma, but also feel that she perhaps thinks I think everything is normal between us.
Remember the picnic/castle analogy. She's going to sloooowly come out of the castle to look at what you're doing and then run back in, raise the drawbridge and board the windows with no explanation. Then sloooowly come out again and repeat.
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Maybe I just need to dial back a bit, stay positive but not too friendly.
Again with the picnic analogy- you just keep having your picnic. You don't change what you're doing in response to her coming closer or running away. Consistency!
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Today I have mostly been wanting to hold my hands up and let her know I take accountability for my half of the relationship issues and at same time raise her half that she is glossing over, highlight some of her controlling behaviour
Sure that would all go down well lol!
Oh she would love it. She already thinks everything is your fault (in typical WAS fashion), so basically you would just be giving her reassurances that indeed, it IS all your fault. LBS's have tried this and it always backfires. The WAS will use their own words against them, sometimes even documenting it and using it in court to "prove" the LBS is a bad spouse or even parent.
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Seriously, is there a time to raise these things, is it way way down the road?
If you ever get to the point of recon discussions, then you can BOTH talk about areas of improvement. Not to blame each other but to sort out what you want moving forward.
