Boundaries

[Meredith]

I’m so glad that your H is showing you some progress! It is especially important for you to remain detached now. He’s watching you, and turning things around too quickly will put you back at square one.

What if a boundary for you is to only answer one of H’s phone calls at night and then call him back if the voicemail specifies something important? I think being a little less available will be a good thing for you and for H.

Now, since you are not going to be sitting around waiting for a phone to ring, what WILL you be doing with your time in the evenings?

Will this car service situation mean you are not bike riding with S on Saturday morning? And how ‘bout that daycare license?

I think Laurie’s plan of having someone watch S for you over the weekend is a good one, however, as more of a last resort. I want to give you something else to think about. Having S go with H on the weekends is also a way for H to see what life will be like if he proceeds with this divorce. He’ll realize that he doesn’t get to make all the decisions and that he can’t be the one who gets to reject any inconvenience at any given time. It may also cause him to realize first hand what you do on a daily basis. And the quality time that he is spending with S may help to bring him out of his funk. Not mention, he’ll get a first hand look at what you’re doing when S tells his dad of all the new things you’re trying!