Everyone’s situation is similar and yet unique. Events sometimes force certain actions to happen quicker for one while another can never experience it. Divorce for example.
My wife pushed for a separation and divorce right after BD. Others around here are years into their situations with no divorce settlements on the horizon.
Your situation, I do agree with kml.
The LBS walks a path towards healing and self happiness. Compassion, empathy, kindness, etc... all goals to strive for, choosing better not bitter.
The LBS also has the business side of things to contend with. Financial protection and security of themselves and their children. People in crisis do not make good parents, and do not make good decisions. The LBS, being the sane and stable of the two, needs to adjust to events as they unfold. The business side, the divorce, the financial separating, and even custody, is something one has to ensure they are cognizant of their choices and aware of their decisions and possible ramifications.
Speaking with a lawyer and seeing what you are facing and what you can do is a good start. Understanding the worst case and best case scenarios, what you can negotiate, what you can’t, etc... is all useful. Information and knowledge is power. And do not share with H, or tell him you are seeing a L, he will use it against you.
This is only gathering information. With it you can make an informed decision. And in your situation, events may unravel quicker than you want, or quicker than normal (if there is such a thing), and you will be, and want to be, ready to act.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
