Thank your for reading my thread. I too think That H maybe in MLC of some sort. I set bounadaires 3wks ago 2morrow. I have to say that since I have set the boundaries I have more peace of mind. I really don't contact him at all, unless it is concerning S or financial business. Detatching in this way has also helped me to worry less about what he is doing while he is not at home. I know longer question him about OW.
It is driving him crazy that he can not just get in touch with me whenever he wants or just drop by without notice, and that I am not calling. When he 1st got me on the phone last nite he wanted to know why I am keeping S from him? I said, you know I would never do that and you are welcome to spend time with S whenever you would like????????? The same man that didn't want him for the weekend????????? He then said, you have a ticket on the car w/a fine attached. Why do you always wait until you have a penalty b4 you pay these tickets? (it has always been a bad habit of mine, I don't pay things promptly) I said, H, you are right. I have a bad habit of waiting til last minute to pay things. God is working on me. I am a work in progress. I am learning the things that I need to do to become a better me but I can't change everything at once, but that is on my list. He said, I just want you to take care of yourself. I said, I am just learning to do that. I agreed that it is a concern and took all of his venom. He had nothing else to say and the rest of the convo was carefree. The old me would have gotten very defensive. I was shocked at my own reaction and proud of myself.
He has started calling a lot more. He is starting to have general conversation with me. Last nite he called me 4x's back 2 back to just talk about nothing. He wanted me to make sure that he knows when my sis-in-laws baby shower is because he wants to support my brother because he is having his 1st child. He asked me does my car need to be serviced? I said, yes. He said, would you like me to take it Saturday morning? I said, I would really appreciate that. He had previously told me I could get my own car serviced(b4 boundaries and persuing had stopped). We laughed at a couple of things going on in the family and I was the first to say goodnite.
He called me back and said, That his graduation is 5/21/04 . He wants S to come. I said, you have really worked hard these past 5 years and I would like to be there to see you graduate as well. He said, I know but they are only allowing 1 guess and the others have to pay [$85],WOW! He then went on to say that it is important that S see his accomplishment and I said, I understand. I am disapointed that I will not see him graduate but I will get him something to show him how proud I am of him.
I found a new C and she is Christian C. If you are a Christian or don't mind a spiritual guide she councels from the bible as well as the school books. I am very excited to see her. I asked her how does she views M and she said I am christian and that should help you understand how I feel about saving an M. All M's are salvagable and I will do as much as I can to help you and him heal from the past and then together as H and W. My 1st appointment is today at 5pm.
