Quote: After the first nine months of telling me she wanted a divorce and me saying I wanted to work it out, SHE REVERSED HER STANCE ONLY WHEN I AGREED TO SEEK A DIVORCE. Probably not just a coincidence....
No, it isn't a coincidence, it happens quite often, when you simply give in, raise the white flag, back off, ACCEPT HER DECISION TO END THINGS..and move on in a quiet, NICE, confident manner..
One of the reasons I still stay semi-active on the BB is quotes like the above, so that people can look at things from a different perspective, that IN GENERAL, they have triple the chance of drawing a WAS back towards them when they AGREE to ending things, AGREE with whatever the WA sees as the problem, and set THEM FREE if they do not want to be Md or part of the R. Do it in a non condescending, non malicious, HAPPY, NICE, UNDERSTANDING way..and the probablility is, the WAS may feel safe in taking an emotional step towards you again, because you are no longer trying to convince them how staying Md is "right' when they don't see it that way for whatever the reason.
The ones that are STRONG enough to give in to ending the M, and can convince themselves that they will be FINE either way, there will always be someone else if the WAS doesn't love them anymore...THOSE are the ones that seem to succeed in saving their Ms much moreso than those that hang on, hoping that their WA comes out of some fog..
I can't explain it other than the the fact that you are more attractive when you are willing to sacrifice the M and give a WAS their freedom, than when you don't. Additionally, letting them go, takes away the PRESSURE of making them feel "responsible" when they no longer want to be. They can then think more clearly if LOSING you is what they really want. That cannot be achieved until they are convinced you can handle life without them..
Good luck with your reconciliation, hope it works out..it probably will if you act like a man who will handle any outcome the same...with confidence and strength..
