Confused and not sure how to proceed

[KristinG]

I second that LovingIt. There will be days and times when you feel like you can't control yourself. You will be spiraling and you will feel hopeless. IT WILL PASS.

If she truly wants to find happiness outside of our marriage, i'm ready to let her. Who am I to deny her that? That's what she is looking for.

Wow. I wish that I had your strength when I was in your position. Re-read this on your bad days to remind yourself that she has her own choices and you deserve someone that wants to choose you. Very mature thinking here.