Quote: How long was it b4 your W actually started talking about reconciliation?
Nitaf
It was about 9 months after W first asked me about a divorce that I finally told her that I'd go ahead and file. That's when she said she didn't want one...just wanted time. That was Aug 02 and she'd been out of the house, staying with friends pretty much since March. That was also the first time she started taking anti-depressants, although she refused to stay on them for any length of time until January of this year.
She got her own apartment two months later (Oct 02) and really didn't start talking about moving back home until about 6 months later (Mar 03). She actually didn't move home until November 03 which coincided with a two month trip of my own...so we really weren't back together until Jan 04. Not that problems ended then. We still aren't totally in sync.
I guess it's hard to give a firm answer to your question because I don't really know when the whole thing started. Just that Thanksgiving, 2001 was when it really blew up in my face and I started to get a clue. After the first nine months of telling me she wanted a divorce and me saying I wanted to work it out, she reversed her stance only when I agreed to seek a divorce. Probably not just a coincidence, but then again, I'm not sure the same result would have occurred if I'd given in sooner. She's since told me that she was convinced I didn't care and was surprised when I wouldn't jump at a chance to divorce her and get out of the marriage. I'm still not sure what I did to give her that impression.
Anyway, when she told me she was moving out, she said it was only temporary. It ended up being 13 months..not exactly my definition of temporary. But she did eventually come home. But she is still distant and very easily upset.
Boy, laying out the timeline makes me realize how long this has gone on...that's depressing. Well, I hope I answered the question and hope it helps in some way.
