My question: If she asks to do something as a family is it ok to go? There is no confirmation of an A (although I consider that likely) and I don't want to put up a giant roadblock if she's making attempts in her own way to spend time with me. If I can do that without expectations I assume that's ok? I feel fairly detached at this point and I'm more concerned with improving things about myself.
I agree with R2C in never jumping to a fast acceptance, tell her you'll think about it, or (my favorite) that you need to check your schedule and will let her know. As far as whether to go or not, the key is what you said- you need to be able to do it without expectations and if you can do that then in my opinion it's fine. My XW and I never did stop having joint birthday parties for the kids, in fact we still do it now. And every once in a while we'll all go out to dinner together. We do it for the kids, we've always tried to show them that we still support them together despite our differences.
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I just picked up a part-time job (old company wanted me back) that has the potential to add 50k to my yearly income so with both jobs I'll be working around 40 hours/week making 100k. Financially I wont' need her help at all. I'm in great shape and I've made some changes in my life to be less judgmental and more accepting of others choices. All in all, I'm in a good place to have a better relationship with her or with someone else.
