Weathering the Storm

[Coconut]

ugh, I got the end result I wanted (mostly), but man did I make a mess of that. A few few days after my last post, I still hadn't seen her or had the talk with her and went out drinking.. well, I don't need to be drunk to do something stupid, but being drunk definitely ups the chances that I will do something stupid, and I did. At the end of the night when I was home, I texted her out of the blue and said I didn't want to do this anymore and basically broke it off, I was very nice about it (thankfully), but I am not the type to end any type of R by text, and I didn't want to end it without talking to her first.

The next day when I woke up late I asked if I could call her (not sure that she would want to talk to me) and she said I could, I had the talk with her and explained my actions as best as I could. End result was that she understands that I am going to continue meeting new people looking for a real R and will stop sleeping with her if I find someone that I am interested in pursuing. She doesn't want to break it off with me, but understands that I want more and she can't give it to me. We've spent some time together since all that and it has been really nice having someone to snuggle with on these cold nights we've been having, it is cuffing season after all.

And remember when I said I don't have to be drunk to do something stupid? Well, a while ago I decided to enhance my cultural side and get out and see some shows, so I bought tickets to a Stars and Guitars concert, a manheim steamroller concert and for the Nutcracker ballet. I had decided that I wouldn't mention the tickets to my FWB in case someone new came in my life that I wanted to invite to one (or all) and if no one appeared then I would ask her a week or so before. Well, to get to the point, there's a lady at work that I was set up with (exchanged phone numbers with anyway), we've been talking a little and I invited her to the stars and guitars concert with me (we've only talked a little so far, but have had trouble finding time to meet up). anyway, after the new lady accepted my FWB (or non-committed dating partner, whatever I should call her) mentioned to me that an artist dropped out of the concert, my heart sank cause I don't remember even mentioning to her that I had the tickets.. So I told her that I might of messed up, that I didn't remember inviting her and I'm going with someone else. She told me that I hadn't invited her, but that I had mentioned the concert in conversation and that when she heard about the artist dropping out she thought about the fact that I was going.

I had some relief that I hand't invited her, but it hurt me to have to say that I was going with someone else. ugh, I think i'm too emotional a person to do the whole FWB thing. if this ends, never again.