Where does this come from? What is your family of origin like? Is there someone in your childhood who mistreated you? Often there is a clue in people's childhood as to why they would take the word of a unstable spouse over their own knowledge of self. You will need to work this out in order to be attracted to healthy partners in the future.
I'll address this since both kml and DS asked about it. Bit unusual, but here it is. I was a competitive swimmer until the age of 18. My coach developed me from a naturally talented 9yo into a national medal winner at 15yo. As I advanced through the ranks, he became arrogant and obsessed with the celebrity that came from my performance. He pushed me beyond my physical limits in the pursuit of glory and began to deceive me mentally during training. Like giving me the main set, which I would complete, then informing me it was actually a warm-up set, and an even harder main was to follow. I would get out of the pool and hide in the toilets crying during every session. When I became injured from over-exertion, he told me I was faking it for attention, and pushed me harder. Even when I had a letter from my physio explaining the injury and required treatment. His lack of faith completely destroyed my trust in him and devastated me emotionally. Eventually he left for a new swim club when he saw I wasn't going to hit those Olympic goals. Years later I would have dreams in which he attempted to speak to me and I would scream "You don't get to talk to me any more." I worked through all of this in therapy years ago, but if I had to guess, this was the defining series of events which shaped the way I interact and react to these kind of situations.
