Hey DnJ. Thank you for your comments about the attractiveness of integrity and self-worth. I know you are right.
Originally Posted by DnJ
When he say things like - he doesn’t trust your motives - say “I’m sorry you feel that way”.
You don’t have ulterior motives, but he feels you do - so it’s not rubbish to him. Remember he is angry and justifying stuff with lies and half truths. So acknowledge his feelings with “I’m sorry you feel that way”.
This is hard for me. I've got to put down the sword defending myself. It just gives credence to his lies and turns half-truths into facts.
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If you give in to his manipulations and demands, pretzel yourself, he will find new things to complain and blame you for. And then you can start all over again pretzeling.
This is true. I feel he holds me to an impossible standard. I take the high road 99% of the time and there's no acknowledgement, then the 1% I slip up, show emotion, react badly, I'm crucified for it. It does my head in.
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All LBS get in a cycle and it takes some time to figure one’s way out of it. Listen to the hard earned wisdom of those who have gone before; this is a counterintuitive process. It does feel wrong at first, until you get it.
I definitely need all the advice I can get. It's been five months and I feel like I'm back at the beginning again.
