I agreed to swap the unavailable weekends. I agreed to the weekend overnight, but said I'd be more comfortable with only 24 hours away from home as it's the first time away and he's not yet 2 years old. I said I had plans with S and my family on Christmas Day, but he was welcome to take him for the whole day on Boxing Day. I added that I hope he understands I'm under no obligation to accommodate changes to the current schedule so his gratitude is appreciated.
Everything is fine until the last sentence. Telling him to be grateful is A) pointless and B) likely to get him riled up. What's it's NOT likely to do is make him think "Yeah, she's being so nice, I appreciate that".
Don't engage in tugs of war. Be kind and take the high road. Don't be a doormat but it's ok to accommodate where you can IF it doesn't mess up your own plans too much.
