Quotes Found on DivorceBusting (9)

[Ready2Change]

Link

It seems like many of us find ourselves using the LRT. We are separated and making the most of our interactions. We back off; we GAL we do our 180s; we sit back and watch what happens. We assess what happens and we make adjustments.
Here are the guidelines per DR for when our wayward spouse becomes curious or reaches out:

· Be loving in return, but not overly excited or enthusiastic.
· Accept some invitations to spend time together, but not all.
· Do not ask any questions about your future together.
· Be vague when asked questions about the changes in you. Say that you are just thinking things through.
· Continue to be upbeat.
· Do not say “I love you.”
· Resist getting into conversations about your marriage.
· Beat your spouse to the punch when it comes time to leave or separate from each other at the end of an activity. You set the tone for going your separate ways.

Here are a few things that I have found worked for me in the past and I am going to implement them again.

· When talking on the phone, end the conversation first
· When texting, end the conversation first. If you have been going back and forth in a text exchange say “got to run to a meeting” (or something like that) as your last text.

o I read somewhere that you want to leave your love interest wanting more. When I first started dating my W, I had younger kids and would end chatting conversations to tend to them. She told me that it drove her nuts because she was never ready for the conversation to end. If you are naturally busy, then you will naturally do this. But if you have a lot of time on your hands you need to fake it.

· Mirror your text responses in length and take at least as long to respond as your wayward spouse.
· Look fantastic when you see your WAS, but don’t look like you’re trying too hard.
· Be relaxed and cool

Please add to the list above.

Keep doing what works, and stop doing what doesn’t.

My personal solution oriented goal is to spend more in person time with my w (once a week would feel like progress) and avoid a just-friends situation (interactions are flirty and not just emotional support).