I´m a survivor from the other side. This forum saved my life too. I needed to DB myself so as to save myself and my family. Didn´t find all the answers but found the road to get them. It´s a never ending road, the road of life.
Keep walking that road BB. Accepting yourself, being a better man/father/(spouse eventually).
Happiness comes from inside. Get it, share it. Be the lighthouse. Shine!