When to decide who gets what. When to start looking for my own place. When to discuss who gets S when. When to separate finances etc. and how to do this stuff gently but firmly and in control.
Hi Ozman, well, I had a rather straight-forward divorce--I wanted out a.s.a.p. so it took 30 days to get terms defined and I didn't spend much time talking. Me: "Here's a proposed childcare plan I downloaded from the Internet. I didn't change anything from the boilerplate. It covers everything from sick days to vacations to phone calls at each others' home. I picked a 5/2/2/5 because that's what child psychologists recommend for ages x and y. They also talk about week on/off and alternate days, but here's some shortcomings. It looks good but you're welcome to find your own plan. Her: "Okay, let me look over it." Me: "It's a weekend later. Any thoughts?" Her: "What does X mean?" Me: "I think X means Y. Think we should clarify it?" Her: Okay, sounds okay. I'd like <change> <change> <change>" Me: <Stews a bit>. "Agreed."
Item splits, we did a personal auction a week before I moved out of the place.
Financial splits were mostly straightforward--50/50. We did that the day we signed our agreement. The initial filing including restraining order to limit any hocus pocus with the kids or shared funds. That's why my discussions STARTED with her being served divorce papers. Service provided protections for everyone.
