Vapo's post may have stung a little but he's spot-on. Great advice from Joe as well, he's "been there done that"!
Originally Posted by bballer1
I am the more attractive option.
Probably quite literally every woman on planet Earth would say you are the more attractive option. Kind, devoted, loving husband vs. lying cheater? Seems obvious. Not to your W though, not right now. She has ZERO respect for you (I mean come on, talking to you about OM????), and you can only get it back by detaching from her. Right now she readily chooses the lying cheater, because she's caught in limerence. And all the turmoil this has caused has only driven them closer together. It's them against the world now, that's how she sees it. I think you mentioned OM's W has filed for D? I think your W envisions a wonderful life with him, riding off into the sunset on a white stallion with fireworks overhead. She's biding her time until that can happen, stringing you along with no intentions of making a future with you.
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Going forward will be tough but I am determined to be strong and show tough love at the same time making sure I put my needs 1st.
Her "needs" should not be on your radar at all.
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I told her I would only do couples counseling if 1. She has No Contact with OM 2. You commit to restoring our marriage. Her reply was OKAY.
"OKAY" means I'm not really interested right now.
You've got to quit being Plan B. She says she wants MC? Your answer is NO. She asks why? No reply. You've got to see ACTION from her that indicates a willingness to try, not hollow words.
